Do we ever stop to think about the meaning of marriage? What comes with it? Love, honesty, respect, responsibility, and all that. Now, let’s zoom in a little. What about trust in a marriage? How does it connect with everything else in our lives, like our jobs and responsibilities?

My husband, Miji, is a wonderful doctor. He graduated from the University of California, San Francisco…very impressive. In our cozy little apartment community, he’s sort of become the go-to doctor for everyone, which I find both amusing and annoying. We’ve always been best friends, sharing everything-ish. But sometimes I wonder, should there be boundaries on what we share?

Let me back up and give you some context. Two doors down lives the Ridge family. I studied psychology, but trust me, that’s not the reason I can tell Mr. Ridge is absolutely cheating on Mrs. Ridge. To be honest, both of them are kind of useless—no offense—but I’ll spare you the details for now. My heart does go out to their kids, though. Poor things.

When I realized what was going on, I told Miji. He’s so oblivious sometimes that I wonder how he keeps track of anything at all. We decided it wasn’t any of our business, so we stayed out of it. I’ve seen Mr. Ridge’s, uh, friend, a few times. She seems a bit naive. Probably in her early thirties, maybe unsure of what she’s doing, right? Then again, maybe she’s completely unaware she’s in this situation with a 45-year-old man who’s basically an insult to husbands everywhere.

Fast forward to yesterday. Miji comes home after a check-up with Mr. Ridge, sits down at the dinner table, and casually starts telling me about the visit while I’m making baked potatoes. And just like that, I’m now fully informed about our neighbor’s sexual health. Not exactly dinner conversation, right?

I mean, first off, Mr. Ridge has apparently been handing out more than just relationship drama, he’s spreading diseases like they’re party favors. But here’s the kicker, I’m not mad at Mr. Ridge (I mean, come on, that’s expected at this point), I’m mad at Miji! Why? Because… what happened to H.I.P.P.A.? Aren’t doctors supposed to keep patient information private? Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that Miji and I are close, and it’s sweet he feels like he can share with me, but wasn’t there an oath about keeping things confidential?

Fun fact is that the first major case that led to the creation of HIPAA wasn’t specifically about medical privacy, but rather, it was the evolving nature of patient rights and confidentiality in the 1990s that highlighted the need for better protection.

Okay, but still, am I crazy for thinking this is a violation of trust? Now I’m left wondering if I need to tell the young lady what she’s walking into. Should I inform Mrs. Ridge? Or do I keep my mouth shut and just make sure my kids stay far away from their kids?

And here’s my real dilemma, Miji took an oath to protect his patients’ privacy, but does that privacy extend to me, his wife? If two become one in marriage, does that mean I automatically get access to everything he knows? If I act on this information, is Miji violating his oath? Or worse, am I now complicit in something unethical?

This whole situation is giving me a headache. Honestly, by the time you read this, I might have already made a decision. But tell me, am I crazy?