Guys, I had a revelation.

I was journaling—as one who lived through COVID-19 does, as one in the bracket of millennial and Gen Z does, as one who watched Disney cartoons now being remade into live-action films does, as one who sees therapy ads pop up every two to three days, does…

The point is, I wasn’t being too kind to myself during this journaling session. I was scolding myself for not making progress in breaking the habit of procrastination, asking if I wanted to stay stagnant in life.

Then, the me on my right shoulder came to the rescue. It said, “You need to focus on small steps of improvement. Procrastination wasn’t built in a day, and it definitely won’t be broken in one. It might even—no, it definitely will—take longer to break. You need to give yourself grace and take intentional steps that will add up to success.”

Those words of mine… I guess I’ve always known I’m a little wise.

But then, the me on my left shoulder chimed in. “So, if you can actually consume this… self-coddling—and believe your little steps matter, which I don’t disagree they do… I mean, people say it takes over 1,000 brush strokes to complete a painting, and God knows how many steps to reach a destination, so I believe small steps count. Buttttt, if you believe it for yourself, why don’t you believe it for others?”

This is why journaling can’t replace a therapist because, why am I guilt-tripping myself mid-session?

I guess I can’t call it guilt-tripping when it’s just honesty.

The first example that came to mind was Kenneth. I asked him why, if he needed to lose 50 pounds, he was eating out every night. He looked surprised, but I felt like I had to say it even if he had recently been more consistent with the gym five days a week.

Then there’s George, who says he wants to quit smoking weed but still has it once in a while. I don’t say anything, but I look at him, and he knows. Not that George cares much about my opinion, he just takes another puff, blows it out, and looks away.

And Branny? He’s thinking about settling down for marriage but is still having flings and one-night stands. At least he told me to keep him accountable. So far, he’s only cut back his clubbing by two days.

I know how this sounds. Judgmental, toward myself and others.

But I’m realizing now that their little steps of progress matter, just like mine do. Why didn’t I see it before? Was I oblivious to the parallels, or did I think their consequences were bigger than mine? Maybe I thought procrastination wasn’t as harmful as overeating, smoking, or casual sex. I thought, at least I won’t gain weight from procrastination. I won’t damage my lungs. I won’t risk an STD.

I was judging. I am judging.

But I shouldn’t. Procrastination can affect health too via stress, anxiety, and even cardiovascular issues. It can make me skip the gym for months, opt for takeout instead of groceries, delay doctor’s visits, and avoid health checkups. It can keep me stuck in habits I claim I want to break maybe for months, maybe for years.

Look at me, weighing vices with uneven scales.

Anyway, this was my revelation: I should probably extend the same grace to others that I extend to myself. The more steps I take forward, the more steps I leave behind. Maybe, while procrastinating my next move, I can pause and look back to see how far I’ve come, and realize how far others have come too.

But don’t get it twisted, some people really don’t make enough effort, and I still stand by that judgment.